In The Desert
Listen to my secret, I am your cigarette,
I don't mind to tell you, I know you won't forget,
All this gossip you're hearing about poor little me:
Is just good advertising and most of it is free.
Also a good scheme for pipes and cigars on hand,
When criticizing me, makes them both in great demand.
They'll probably sell a million, or maybe even more,
Then all will settle down, just like they were before.
People will find that satisfaction is only found in me,
And buying pipes and cigars helped the industry.
You see I am the king, I sit upon the throne,
I control the industry, I claim it all my own.
I control all that listen, which includes almost all,
I claim most all the women, for me they surely fall;
Except a scattered few, who will not bow the knee,
Those few may bow to God, but they never bow to me.
I never fret or worry, of losing just a few,
As long as I have many and keep them in a stew.
My motto is majority, and majority does rule,
I get a lot of converts in television's school.
Set with scenic background, a boy and girl so free,
Having lots of fun, keep their thoughts on me.
In most relaxing ways, I picture girl and boy,
They seem so very happy, and I'm their pride and joy.
I always steal the show when pictured in the mouth,
Though they burn me into ashes, I never know a drouth;
For when one of us is gone, another takes our place,
We are one thing ne'er forgotten, by all the human race.
I like to take your money, varied is my way,
You never seem to mind, 'cause you need me every day.
Boy, you won't admit that you are now my slave,
I've got your sister too, she also has the crave.
People have a fit when they're away from me,
You see I am not partial, I take in all I see.
Little, big, young, or old, folks seem so nice:
Once I make them fall for me, they always pay the price.
My price a certain fee, I charge for what I do,
I make you always crave me, with fits of coughing, too.
I stink up everything, including all your clothes,
Yet you just love me, for that's the way it goes.
You can't do without me once I am your friend,
Lots of things I do for you, on me you can depend.
I never let you down, I give you what you crave,
I help all who love me to fill an early grave.
Why should you not love me? together we will win,
A home in hell with Satan, the father of all sin.
I even work on children, they seem to like me, too,
No wonder that they like me, I was introduced by you.
When they first saw me, you and I were very thick,
They got an introduction, you gave it to them quick.
You let them see your love was genuine for me,
When you put me before your food as first necessity.
Grown men and women, high in intellect,
Will even put me first, though children they neglect.
Susie needs a dress and Johnny needs some shoes,
If there's not enough for all, me they always choose.
Yes, I've got it made, I am here to stay,
Though I lose a few, I gain a lot each day.
Yes, thousands on thousands testify for me,
As long as I get your money, I'm happy as can be.
When cigars are a nuisance and pipes become a bore,
I will be as popular as I ever was before.
This is my secret, you will find this to be true,
When you've tried everything, you find I'm still for you.
I am your friendly cigarette, your comfort is my plea,
When you tire of pipes and cigars, just come on home to me.
You know I won't desert you, I have so much in store,
I fill your life with gladness, you know I never bore.
You can count on me always, for I will see you through,
In all kinds of weather, no matter what you do.
I'm with you till doom's day, and never will regret,
If we burn in hell together, I'm still your cigarette.
‹R. H. Douglas
Send for a sample of different
gospel tracts, also the monthly
publication,
Faith Publishing House
P. O. Box 518
Guthrie OK 73044
| 
