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Make it so Plain That I Can Get Hold of It
On the sixteenth day after the battle of Gettysburg, I entered the room where a young wounded colonel was apparently near death. As I entered, he aroused from his stupor, beckoned me to his bedside, and threw his feeble arms about my neck.
"Oh, father, how glad I am to see you! I was afraid you would not come till it was too late. I am too feeble to say much, although I had a great many things to say to you. You must do all the talking. Tell me all about dear mother and sister."
I soon perceived by the appearance of those in the house that there was no hope of his recovery. But as I could no longer bear the agony of suspense, I at last inquired of the doctor, "Doctor, how long do you think he can live?"
"Not more than four days. He may drop away at any hour."
"Have you, or has anyone told him of his real condition?"
"No. We left the painful duty for you to do, as we have been expecting your arrival for several days."
As I entered the room with the dreaded message of death pressing on my heart, the eyes of my son fastened upon me.
"Come, sit by my side, Father. Have you been talking with the doctor about me?"
"Yes."
"What did he tell you? Does he think I shall recover?"
There was a painful hesitation for a moment. "Don't be afraid to tell me just what he said."
"He told me you must die."
"How long does he think I can live?"
"Not to exceed four days, and you may drop away any hour."
With agitation he exclaimed, "Father, is that so? Then I must die! I cannot! I must not die! Oh! I am not prepared to die now. Do tell me how I can get ready! Make it so plain that I can get hold of it. Tell me in a few words, if you can, so that I can see it plainly. I know you can, Father, for I used to hear you explain it to others."
"My son, I see you are afraid to die."
"Yes, I am."
"Well, I suppose you feel guilty."
"Yes, that is it. I have been a wicked young man. You know how it is in the army."
"You want to be forgiven, don't you?"
"Oh, yes! That is what I want. Can I be Father?"
"Certainly."
"Can I know it before I die?"
"Certainly."
"Well now, father, make it so plain that I can get hold of it."
At once an incident which occurred during the school days of my son came to my mind.
"Do you remember when you came home from school one day and became very angry and abused me with harsh language because I had occasion to rebuke you?"
"Yes, Father, I was just thinking it all over a few days ago as I thought of your coming to see me. I felt so badly about it that I wanted to see you and once more ask you to forgive me."
"Do you remember how, after the violence of your anger subsided, you came in and threw your arms about my neck and said, 'My dear Father, I am sorry I abused you so. It was not your loving son that did it. I was very angry. Won't you forgive me?' "
"Yes, I remember it very distinctly."
"Do you remember what I said to you as you wept upon my neck?"
"You said, 'I forgive you with all my heart,' and kissed me. I shall never forget those words."
"Did you believe me?"
"Certainly. I never doubted your word."
"Did you then feel happy again?"
"Yes, perfectly, and since that time I have always loved you better than ever before. I shall never forget how it relieved me when you looked upon me so kindly, and said, 'I forgive you with all my heart.' "
"Well, now, this is just the way to come to Jesus. Tell Him, 'I am sorry,' just as you told me, and ten thousand times quicker than a father's love forgave you, He will forgive you. He says He will. Then you must take His word for it just as you did mine."
"Why, Father, is this the way to become a Christian?"
"I don't know of any other."
"Why, Father, I can get hold of this. I am so glad you have come to tell me how."
He turned his head upon his pillow for rest. I sank into my chair and wept freely, for my heart could no longer suppress its emotions. I had done my work and committed the case to Christ. He, too, I was assured, had done His. The broken heart had made its confession, had heard what it longed for, "I forgive you," and believed it. I soon felt the nervous hand on my head and heard the word "Father" in such a tone of tenderness and joy that I knew the change had come.
"Father, my dear father, I don't want you to weep any more. You need not for I am perfectly happy now. Jesus has forgiven me. I know He has, for He says so, and I take His word for it, just as I did yours."
The doctor came in and found him cheerful and happy, looked at him, felt his pulse, which he had been watching with intense anxiety and said, "Why, Colonel, you look better."
"I am better, Doctor. I am going to get well. My father has told me how to become a Christian, and I am happy. I believe I shall recover, for God has heard my prayer. Doctor, I want you to become a Christian too. My father can tell you how to get hold of it."
The colonel did live, and lived for Christ. I was made a better man and a better evangelist by that scene, where this dear son, struggling with his guilt and fear of death, was led to Jesus and found the pardon of his sins. I there resolved never to forget the charge he made me in his extremity, "Make it so plain that I can get hold of it." ‹Selected
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